Good Communication

Everyone has lost something. And this doesn’t just go for those abstract nouns, such as destiny, love, or self-discovery. Nope, I’m talking about physical items; objects that, in the flesh, travel with us…and in turn, are lost by us.

What if you lost your house keys? Not just twenty feet from your front door, or along your neighbourhood block, but somewhere that hundreds of people pass throughout the course of the day? You would probably be swamped with fear, and then dread the explanatory confrontation with your folks back at home. What actions would you then take to try and address your loss to the public, and then maximize your chances to regaining and repossessing those keys? Communication would probably top your list, because that’s the quickest way you can get the thoughts – and hence, pressures – in your head out into the open.

Let’s define this term here; communication. A noun that refers to the interchange of various thoughts, opinions, or information through verbal or written means. In a way, this disperses the focus to quite a multifarious set of options, and the conclusion I’m about to approach is that really, the possibilities are endless. Communication can exist in endless forms.

But the principles of utilizing communication in a good manner are a completely different matter entirely. It not only refers to the quality and rhetoric of the articulation, but also the choice of delivery selected. What I mean by this, ladies and gentlemen, is that one’s success in communication can be completely unrelated and regardless of their skill in a particular area, for if the form of communication is poorly selected, you may find yourself permanently at square one.

For example, a masterful negotiator of price tags won’t get anywhere if the item of interest is fixed at a certain value. In this case, an attempt at communicating to lower this figure – in other words, bargaining – would be fruitless in such context. No matter how skilled you are in the art of persuasion, a seller cannot afford to give in to your standards at the risk of his or her job. Take the same skill to another situation, however, and the tides could change entirely, because we all know how, for a skilled negotiator, a good deal is only a few short steps away. No longer would it be like trying to wrangle meat from a tiger’s mouth; a use of good communication in the correct circumstances would definitely achieve desired results.

As I mentioned earlier, communication can exist in many forms, and one of the more popular examples is music, for it is, as many people see it, a form of language. Instruments and lyrics; all in the same big package. And then you have your audience; they listen to the ideas and thoughts you try to put across. So in terms of communication, what better way to convey a message in a good manner than to craft music your audience can properly relate to? Many music artists can shape their entire careers upon such decisions, for they know that choosing music to connect with their audience isn’t enough. For example, some rap music artists blare out life on the fast lane, presenting their indulgence to the world in albums about their newest car, their biggest house, or their latest riches. Many country music artists, on the other hand, base their lyrics on the lifestyles of average people…and most of their audience will fall into the category. Hence, understanding - managed through good communication, which was ultimately derived from a choice of selection.

So back to the lost keys? Same tactic. You have to choose the most appropriate method of delivering your thoughts across. Print out and stick notifications all around the neighbourhood? Bombard mailboxes with your phone number and address? Hit the yellow pages? Each method works; each technique can be well-practiced and polished to become a “good” form of communication. But in order to be truly successful, you must remember to fulfill the other half of the equation, in that only the correctly chosen forms of communication can present you the keys back to your front door…and the keys to infinite gates of opportunity.

Conflicting Harmonies

Two men, complete and total strangers, are thrown onto an island the size of an ice skating rink. They are marooned without shelter or friends, and separated from the rest of humanity. Mission statement? Survive. And any measures can be taken to achieve this.

Each person has one different possession. The first holds a jug of fresh water, full to the brim. The other carries a container of raisins, and it too is filled to the maximum.

No communication between the two is present. They both isolate themselves to different sides of the island, taking their belongings with them. And when the time to feed approaches, everyone is satisfied. The first man indulges himself in the refreshing fluid he is given, the second chews thoughtfully on the tender fruits he owns.

Right now, the two men are in harmony, because their demands have been dealt with, their requirements fulfilled.

But hours later, their demands grow. The first man finds his stomach grumbling uncontrollably; the second finds himself feverish with thirst, and his scorching dry throat becomes a living nightmare.

Simultaneously, they head for one another. A congregation takes place in the center of the island. By now both men are already down to half of their supplies.

If one was aggressive, he would fight for total control of all possessions. Conflict would then eradicate their ephemeral harmony.

But if they sought past the need of greed, a much more civilized approach would take place. Their individual harmonies would unite into a common one, and it could be shared.

Now let us make a couple of changes. The crisis takes a turn. The men are willing to share. Sounds good enough…until I tell you that the mission statement has also changed. They will need to take control of both food and water. Although the intention to remain in harmony sounds far more practical, survival would be much easier when you don’t need to think the needs of another. Thus, this new condition would serve as a better type of harmony.

Reality is a reflection of this constantly changing situation. It may not always happen between two people, or two parties, or two countries, but different sides are always involved. And the mission statement is a fluctuating entity. Your boss, parents, best friends…but mostly ourselves, are responsible for this shift, but we do not necessarily acknowledge it.

And why do these change so much? Because our requirements are very much protean and inconsistent. It is natural proclivity for these mission statements to change, and we must fulfill them. To gain what, you might ask? That very sense of harmony and comfort zone we all want to seek refuge in. But when our ideas of this inner peace clash with another, we get conflict.

The two men in my story back there? A simple expression of today’s society. Even in such a straightforward scenario, conflict reigns unchallenged. And it isn’t even close to the brutal complexity of our modern world. Differences with individual possessions, just like the divide of food and water between the two men, is what harvests conflict, and its also the basis from which international tensions arise today. Meanwhile, the instinct and intention for survival only heats up the pressure, because anyone in the dilemma of making a life-dependent choice will only pursue their needs, not the ones of others.

It’s quite a subtle side to life’s big picture. We all realize that respect and acceptance of other’s feelings and thoughts is a nice thing, but at the expense of losing our own desires, and we totally scrap the idea. Give breathing room to someone else’s idea of a harmony, and it usually means hampering your own. What’s the point?

Well, we know the result of conflicting with another harmony is mostly more rewarding. Look around us, cars, industry, technology, are all giving us huge leaps in speed and efficiency, and the cost is merely conflict with Nature’s harmony. The Earth doesn’t enjoy having an atmosphere full of greenhouse gases and pollutants, but we’ve decided that things will be better that way…at least for materialism.

What can we do? Let’s return to the earlier analogy with the two men. Whatever the mission statement is, both harmonies always have a way of living in balance. There is never a situation where everyone is totally satisfied…that much is undeniable. Keep some…or lose all? Compromise and live on…or remain obstinate and unprogressive? One thing for certain…a situation with one single harmony is impossible. A congregation of many can be achieved – just like that congregation that took place in the center of the island with the two men. Our interpretations of an inner peace must adapt to those around us. We have to become more open to change and alteration, and only then can we truly connect with one another as a society. But until then, we still have much to learn…and until then, we still have to avoid the damage that conflicting harmonies can impose.